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May 4, 2012

After a long and detailed period of highly intensive research, I have arrived at a monumental conclusion.

The internet is never fast enough.

In college (the one where I study (goof off – Ed.) to be clear) we’ve got a blisteringly fast internet connection. And I do mean it’s pretty damned fast. At it’s best, Youtube videos load in the blink of an eye, and I get upwards of a 1 MBps download rate. That’s plenty fast enough to keep the most finicky among us satisfied… mostly.

What I want my internet to feel like

What I want my internet to feel like

Unfortunately for me, my college is filled with other people as well who are using the internet to similarly procrastinate, dodge and generally jump through hoops to avoid work. And that leads to some frustrating waiting times.

I have to wait ten seconds for this movie to download?!

And then I’m done with college, and I get home. At home, I’ve got this humble little mobile broadband stick thingy that, in it’s own little way, annoys me massively. In all the adverts, it yells at it’s shrillest about how stunningly fast it is, and how absolutely nothing is beyond it’s reach on the internet. I will match the speeds of actual cables running into your computer, it lies. You will never know the difference between a little stick thing attached to your computer, and a longer wire-thing sticking out of your computer, it claims.

What my internet feels like

What my internet feels like

Once it’s actually in my computer, however, it’s a massively different story. It just sits there, and decides that now is a great time to hibernate, and it firmly refuses to respond to any of my pleas. It’s almost the same story as me and my fellow scholars at college, except on a nationwide scale. Basically, anyone with the same internet plan in the country is given the same bandwidth allocation. Which makes for some really frustrating waiting times.

I have to wait for ten hours for this movie to download?!

I think this is more of a universal phenomenon. Once you have a glimpse of the slightly faster internet speeds, one postulates and ponders about the possibilities of even quicker internet. Surely, we think, if it’s this fast there are people with even faster internet in the world! Thusly beginning our pattern of dissatisfaction.

I hold not the solution to this conundrum, I am but a mere observer.

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