IPC – The Indian Penal Code

(Caveat : I have never seen the real IPC, or any code of law for that matter. The below is entirely a work of fiction.)

(Edit – I have to clarify that this would probably be the rules under a Shiv Senik government. To say this is how we currently work would be to do us a bit of an injustice.)

Section 1 :

• Subsection 1.1 : Indian Morality – If the person is found to be in violation of Indian Morality and/or the Indian Moral Code (IMC), then he shall be penalised with a maximum penalty of death. (See section 12.5.5 for a clearer definition of IMC)
• Subsection 1.2: Youth – If any member belonging to the Youth Party (YP) is found to be engaged in an act of Happiness, he shall be punished with a maximum penalty of twenty eight consecutive years of matriculation education.
• Subsection 1.3 : ‘Love’ – If any member of the Youth Party or otherwise is found to be engaged in ‘Love’ then he/she shall be deported. No warrant necessary.

Section 2:

• Subsection 2.1 :Respect – If any member of society is found to be engaged in an act that violates the sanctity of, and is found to be disrespectful of Seriousness and Sincerity, he/she shall be sentenced to one year of rigorous foot-licking.
• Subsection 2.2 : Humour – It has been found that several members of YP have been engaged in Humour. Any incidents relating to this heinous act should be fast tracked. Maximum penalty : Death, without pardon.
• Subsection 2.3 : Decency – Any member of society found to break the Code of Decent Behaviour of Human Beings (CDBHB) (for example, see subsection 19.2.3  - Holding hands) then he/she shall be jailed for a maximum of ten years, and in incorruptible cases to be given Morality Lessons if they do not repent.

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Quite possibly the laws they are already operating under, by the looks of it. Give them a couple of years, they’ll get there. They’re a little slow, the poor things.

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